Mind, thought, senses, subconscious, hyperconscious…
I’ve got white paint on my hands, but the smell is all over. The day is all over.
Walking in early this morning, I drew in the wet eucalyptus and knew it was all going to be fine.
My words may not be of the highest quality, it may not feel as nice as some, it may not look or sound as beautiful as some; but this is for me, an aim for perfectionism here is futile, because the act in itself is the purpose … begin.
This is a blank book and I’m scared my first entry will ruin it, but unlike an eraser which still leaves some evidence, the trash can and delete button are my safety net, this is disposable which can bring an unlikely comfort.
Two months have gone; I’m 5894 steps in to the first day of Autumn. My plans to take control, step up, make a difference, take time, reflect and move forward have been delayed. My intentions of collecting my thoughts and inspirations have been delayed. My intentions and inspirations and the motivation in my gut, and the desire, hot, running through my body was put on pause.
The moments were not wasted, but protected, not forgotten, but held closer. Closer, to remind me when the less bright instants try to take over, I’ll be back and I’m still there.
There aren’t many less bright instants, but the gaps between them having been growing less; these last few weeks have been getting thicker with less brightness. Things get in the way and make the paths back to those moments a little blurry. The rewards offered in the less bright instances are not nearly as valuable as the desired paths and moments, yet I’m pulled, pushed and drawn towards them. Why? How’d they get so powerful and when did my vision go fuzzy? And how did I let it?
I’m setting some time aside every 24 hours. To reflect, to affirm, to repeat, to remind, to meditate, to visualise and to dream… big. I’m reminded of the power of my mind daily yet still put it on my to-do list. I need a now list. And now time. Yet others still become obstacles, others who choose and refuse to help themselves, to take ownership, to take responsibility, to stand up, to assist, to aid, to teach, to support and to grow. I would like to clone all the people who already do, their difference is noted and applauded and appreciated. Those people hopefully already know who they are and they have my love and respect always.
I’ll share with you my inspirations, soon. The things that make my soul smile. My loves, my music, my photos, my people… my world.
Thank you. I’m already enjoying getting to know you.
